Chains are off and we're on to Death Valley. It should be about a 4 hour drive if you can shoot directly east from Yo-Yo-Semite. But, it's winter and we can't. Roads are closed so we have to head all the way down to Bakersfield, CA and go all the way back up north. It works out to an 8 hour trip. And that's if your alternate route isn't closed due to high winds. Well, as luck would have it, that road is closed as well. Never fear, we've got more roads than Trixie can spit out so we'll get there...it's just going to take a little longer. 

The second alternate route is a gem. We found ourselves at the Sequoia National Forest in the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Luckily, the weather turned again in our favor. It's a sunny ride and at first glance, it looks a bit like Ireland. There are miles and miles of green pastures with cows roaming about.  I've given up the helm to Lisa as the drive out of Yosemite was enough heroism for one day and I don't like to hog the spotlight (ok, maybe I do a little). Anyway, the route is a narrow 2-lane twisting and turning road we haven't dealt with so far so she has a good chance to earn her medal, too. There are several signs along the roadway warning us to "watch for falling rock". Ok, as the passenger, that's my job. And I'm watching very carefully while also trying to embrace the breathtaking views. As we approach one of the turns, we see an unusually large, black rock on the side of the road. We drive slowly because it's not only large but is also an awkward size and shape. Once we get really close we realize it's not a rock. Oh no...it's a cow. A full-grown black cow that fell off the side of the mountain on all fours. He was dead but I think the judges would have given him a perfect 10 for sticking that landing. Very nicely done. And now, added to my passenger responsibilities was watching for falling cows. I swear I always have to do everything. 

It's dusk and we have no lodging and no perspectives. This road, although beautiful, has some scary towns that I don't think I'd bury that poor dead cow in. We found one sign that looked promising...Kernville-13 miles. We have no choice but to follow the road around Lake Isabella to Kernville. I called a few places to try to secure lodging but no luck. Interesting, because it's in the middle of nowhere. We pull in and the first place we see is the "Pine Cone Lodge" (www.pineconeinn-kernville.com). We decide to check it out and for $79.00 the room looked acceptable so we're in. The website says it's a "hysterical landmark"...and that's an understatement.  We went out for a bite and learned it was "Whiskey Flat Days" which means nothing to us except there's a parade with cowboys and an arts and crap show. We had a nice dinner at an Italian restaurant and returned back to the room to find it was cold. Really cold. Apparently, $79.00 doesn't include heat. And a call to the owner wasn't doing us any good. We could switch rooms but no guarantee the heat would be any better. At this point, we both have "dog nose" and could probably give them some tips on improving their customer service. But, we stayed because we paid. Then, to top it off, the neighbors came home at 2 am in what sounded like their ski boots. With the heat not working, just imagine how poor the insulation was. They quickly jumped in the marriage bed and unfortunately, we were in the audience. Not surprisingly, we left Kernville the minute we opened our eyes...no showers...just drove the car like it was stolen and put this on the list of "no return required".