Wait, is it the long and WINEY road or the long and WINDING road? After a few stops in the vineyards, it's all the same.  We're heading up north on PCH towards San Francisco but need to break up it up because after all, this isn't a race.  So we thought we'd stop 1/2 way between Santa Monica and San Francisco to take in a few grapes...I mean sights.  About 4 hours into our drive is the Pasa Robles wine region, known mostly for it's Zinfandels (red, not white...for crying out loud we're not that broke).  We noticed it was quiet in the area, which has pros and cons when visiting wineries. The pros are we get undivided attention and good pours. It's unfortunate that I'm going to list this as a con...but, it's also the big pour. And, it's a con only because none of the wineries have rooms upstairs we can fall into after 37 tastings.  

One of the places we stopped was the Firestone Winery and we literally had it to ourselves. It was a beautiful setting and the perfect set-up to corner the wine hostess with questions about the Firestone family. Actually, we only cared about one member...Andrew Firestone. He was a good-looking simpleton searching for an equally intelligent bride on "The Bachelor" (remember, we're still in California so all this information is critical).  We knew he and "Jen from Chicago" broke off their engagement but Lisa was convinced he married the Polish cleaning lady. After several sly inquiries from us, our wine hostess was not giving up any info.  I figure she must make a little over minimum wage to be that tight lipped about the family. She did, however, tell us we were free to roam about, watch the video and read the family history strewn around the room.  As mentioned previously in the blog, Lisa is a dedicated follower of CSI and Law and Order. So, as any good detective would do, she marched right to the family photos and low and behold, there it was. A  Firestone family picture...and her keen eye (maybe both eyes...she's had lasik surgery) focused directly on Andrew's bride. The woman is indeed foreign and if the rumors hold true, she's is now probably the best dressed Polish cleaning woman in California.  Once again, case closed thanks to Lisa's extensive tv viewing.

We stayed in a coastal town about 25 minutes from Pasa Robles called Moonstone Beach. What an unbelievable setting. It's a one street town with darling ranch-style hotels/cabins and restaurants directly across from the ocean. We found inexpensive lodging and a room with a fireplace. This time it was gas so with one flip of the switch, the fire didn't go out until we left the next day. 

We were 10 minutes from the Hearst Castle and the good news is it's still fairly empty around us so we felt no need to make a tour reservation. On-line booking shows 24 tickets left so we're safe. Then,  we get there and somehow in a one hour period,  every RV that was within driving distance pulled up and took all the tour tickets. Ugh!!! Ok, we've been gone for over 2 weeks and let's face it, we really haven't had any true blunders to date. Maybe we were due.  We were really disappointed because it was on our list of must-sees on the trip. It's the most expensive house ever built in America and we got stuck reading about it in the museum and paying $6.00 to see a National Geographic movie about the construction. It just wasn't the same.  We vowed to come back some day with our husbands in our Airstream campers,  park in the RV section and waltz up to the ticket window with our secured reservations for the 11:20 tour. 

Along the coast we stop to see the elephant seals. Every year at this time they come ashore to breed, give birth and molt. It's fascinating to watch and listen to them try to claim their territory. They flip sand at each other, arch their backs and scream at the top of their lungs. I likened it to taking a really tired 3 year old to the beach. 

The coastal drive is rainy, foggy and winding and that is not a good mix. We stop for lunch in a town called Gorda and realize we both feel a little queezy. What was to be an incredible scenic drive along the coast has turned into a horrible pinball game with us thrashing about in the hairpin turns. At this point, we decide since we can't see anything through the fog,  we're just going to jump on the highway. We bring in the atlas and ask the waiter what the best route is to get to the highway. We may as well have asked him for the "exit built into the mountains for city-folk who just don't feel like driving anymore". Well, there's no special route and the only way out is 65 miles away!  Now what? Well, we just have to suck it up and find a way to get us through this ride. Once back in the car we figured one way to get our mind off the ride was to listen to a book on tape. We've got the perfect one, too.  Maureen McCormick reading her mind-numbing tale "Here's the Story. Surviving Marcia Brady".  It's a masterpiece surely to land in the classics someday. Who would have guessed she gave up a 1000 stroke a day hair-brushing habit for pot, cocaine and sex. We found ourselves talking to the cd screaming "no Mo...not again" as she re-tells in gory detail all the times she slips into the hands of evil and stays up for days on end, missing audition after audition for movies starring nobody we've ever heard of.  At one point when she spoke of the Brady Reunion Show, she referred to them as "The Boozy Bunch" because they were all strung out on the set. It's brilliant and hard to believe she squeezed her entire life into a 6 hour cd set. I don't want to ruin it for everyone so please post a comment if you wish to borrow this autographed copy when we get home and it will be available on a first come, first served basis.